This year, #BellLetsTalk is personal

Every year on Bell Let's Talk Day I use the hashtag. This year, it's a little more personal for me.

If being a parent is hard, being a single parent can be harder.

One morning in early November 2017 I woke up and gave up. I didn't feel like I was being a good mom. I didn't feel like I was being a good employee. I didn't feel like I was being a good daughter, sister or friend. There weren't enough hours in the day to please everyone who depended on me - so what was the point of even trying?

The only "alone" time I have to recharge my batteries is every other weekend when my daughter is with her dad. Before, I used it to clean and pack in as much social time with my friends as would allow. I would go back into work Monday, not feeling refreshed at all from the weekend, but feeling exhausted with a long list of household chores still to do.

Self-care 101 teaches us you can't pour from an empty cup. It took two years of being a single mom, but I was officially living proof.

A tale of two calendars

When I was in grade 8, I really REALLY wanted braces. I was jealous when other kids came to school, their teeth full of colour. My eye sight got extremely poor and I had to wear glasses instead. I still remember riding the TTC home after acquiring my first pair, my brother asking me to read all the fine print on the ads posted above fellow passengers' heads. (Thinking back, I'm sure THEY all enjoyed hearing the ads instead of just reading themselves.)

Hannah is an avid reader. Every week when her class goes to the school library she makes a big production after we arrive home of bringing the newly borrowed book out of her backpack, a la Vanna White. By far, the books I, er, she, enjoys most are from the Elephant & Piggie series by Mo Willems. I'm sad I don't get to read them to her anymore, but ecstatic she will read them to me. (Sometimes I get to read the Gerald parts, and she'll read the Piggie parts - and if you don't know Gerald is the elephant you are not living your best life.)

Now that she can read, she reads everything. My brother would be so pleased to follow her around and listen to her read.

A new year, a new type of blog

I haven't blogged in a long, long time.

One reason is lack of time.

Another reason is that Hannah can read now. She's become her own little person, with thoughts, feelings and reactions she can actually express to me in words. I would never want her to stumble across something I wrote and be embarrassed or angry with how I portrayed her.

Now when we take selfies, I let her look at it and I ask, "Do you mind if I share this with my friends?"

Don't worry, this selfie was Hannah approved