Top 5 Ways Pregnancy Prepared Me for Motherhood

Hannah is 9 months old today. That means she spent as much time as a resident in my body as she has on planet Earth.

To celebrate that, here are my top five ways pregnancy prepared me for motherhood.

1. Your Life Changes Dramatically and It Is No Longer About You

Me and Booyah, 30 Weeks

In the simplest way, your body is no longer your body - it belongs to the baby growing inside you. This obviously makes drastic differences on how you choose to live your life.

The hardest thing about being pregnant was giving up sushi. I LOVE SUSHI. But the baby's needs came first, and I was happy to do anything to ensure she would be the healthiest baby she could be. Not being able to consume a beer on a patio last summer was also difficult. But, it's not like I was able to do it this summer either.

You also feel this weird sense of purpose in creating the healthiest baby your body will allow, and then being the best mother you can be to the child you are blessed with.

2. The Opposite Sex Reacts Differently To You

Once my pregnancy was announced on Facebook, it was almost enjoyable to see all the messages pour in from guys I dated in the past...their messages read, "Congratulations! How exciting!" but what they were really saying is, "Whoa, if we were still dating I might have been this baby's father. Glad it's not me!"

One day, when I was past 5 months pregnant, I was waiting for the subway at Union Station. I had my earphones in but my iPod had died. (I do this in hopes that strangers won't talk to me...). Anyway, there were two university-aged guys waiting for the same train. One of them was pressuring the other to talk to me. The pressured guy was like, "What would I say dude? She probably has a boyfriend, and I'll just look stupid." I wanted to kiss said boys. I never felt so great in my life. Five months pregnant, and still being checked out. (I clearly was not showing too much at this point, but an ego boaster nonetheless).

I'm not checked out when pushing a stroller, and that's the way I prefer it to be. I guess most people are fine with cheating, but don't want to be a home wrecker? I can't judge, I myself consider all celebrities fair game until they become Dads.

3. Your Friendships Change

As a 20-something living in the big city, once I couldn't drink my social life changed drastically. No longer did I want to go to bars, where people pushed and you had to stand on your feet all night. I just wanted to go for dinner (not sushi :() or see a movie. Where I could wear comfortable clothes and shoes, sit my growing ass down and enjoy.

Those friends who texted me constantly the week before my due date are still the friends who text me on a weekly basis if I have yet to reach out to find out how I am and how Hannah is doing. They are also the friends who happily dined with me and now happily dine with me and Hannah.

How your friends treat you while you are pregnant is the greatest indicator of how they will treat you once your baby is here. My three best friends are all childless (so far!), but are just as excited as me when Hannah reaches a new milestone. There are many stages in life that show you who your true friends are, and becoming a Mom is certainly one of them.

4. Your Relationship with Your Mom Changes

Our First Photo (That I Look OK in)

Once I found out I was pregnant, I couldn't help asking my Mom questions about her pregnancy with me. Hannah loved to kick, especially my rib cage. Apparently I was the same way in the womb.

Now that Hannah is here, I understand a little more why my Mom has treated me the way she has over the years and why she will do everything she can in her power to make me happy. Until your life is all about someone else, you don't really realize your Mom's life became all about you the second she found out she was pregnant...and you also realize the sacrifices she has made for you and appreciate her that much more.

I'm also very grateful that my Mom has a wonderful relationship with Hannah - her eye's light up as soon as Grandma enters the room. If Chris has to work and I am sick or have an appointment, my Mom will use vacation days to watch Hannah. My brother and I like to joke that my Mom loves Hannah more than us, but I am really grateful that she shows Hannah so much care and affection.

5. Your Relationship with Your Partner Changes

One of my married friends who gave birth to her second child shortly before Hannah arrived told me that having children is the ultimate test when it comes to your romantic relationship. I couldn't agree more.

Chris was great at bringing me home stuff I craved (mostly those little white donuts and pepperoni pizza). He was so excited to finally feel Hannah kick in the womb. He always checked in with me throughout the day to see how I was feeling, and tried to attend as many as my doctors appointments as he possibly could.

It wasn't all sunshine and butterflies as we got closer and closer to my due date. Sometimes I was upset he could still go out to bars, grab a drink with friends and do pretty much whatever he wanted whenever he wanted. It really irked me when he would come home and greet me with a kiss and all I could taste was alcohol on his lips. I was just jealous that his life didn't change immediately like mine had after I peed on that stick.

Once Hannah arrived, his life changed drastically too. His social life is now about as happening as mine (that is, not happening at all).

Regardless, having a baby has thankfully made our relationship stronger. Having a child solidifies the fact that this person will always be in your life. Even if you break-up or get divorced, you will have to co-parent with this person for the rest of your days on this planet. I believe that having a child together is the biggest commitment you can make to someone.

Chris and I still fight and upset each other, but now that there's another human involved we try to be less petty and focus on her needs before our own. This has really helped put mundane things in perspective. Even if it does annoy me that his dirty socks can't seem to always find their way to the laundry hamper, I know that if he smells a dirty diaper he will change her and make sure it finds its way to the Diaper Genie.

So those are my top five. I'm sure there are many more - how did your pregnancy prepare you for motherhood?

© 2012 YYZ Bambina. All Rights Reserved.

"Mama," she said

Hannah finally speaks my language.

After mastering "Dada" over a month ago,  Hannah then moved on to "Baba" which I can only assume is for our cat, Booyah.

But last week, the M word was finally uttered by her cute, tiny lips.

The first occasion happened after our Diaper Aquafit class. I was in the cold change room trying to get Hannah out of her bathing suit and into her warm, dry clothes as quickly as possible. As a pro-nudist, Hannah was not amused I wanted to put clothes on her. She was crying and fussing and finally yelled, "MAMA!"

A part of me wanted to ask the other moms changing their babies if they had heard it. But, firstly, I wanted to keep my cool as it was just the first class and secondly, they were busy trying to dress their crying babies.

So yeah, the first time was not the magical experience I'd hope it would be.

About an hour later, she said it again. I had just bathed her, and again was trying to get her dressed. She was crying and kicking, and angrily said, "Mama!"

That was Monday.

Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday and Friday were filled with "Dada"s and "Baba"s but no more "Mama"s.

Then yesterday, my Mom, Chris, Hannah and I were at Tim Hortons. I had made my order and came back to the table. Hannah looked directly at me, and said, "Mama". No crying. No kicking. Just happy Hannah.

It's almost like she wanted to wait for the referee (that would be my Mom) to be present to prove, that in fact, she had reached the "Mama" milestone.

When did your baby say "Mama"? Do you remember where you were/what you were doing?

© 2012 YYZ Bambina. All Rights Reserved.

Baby Fashionista

At some point in the Mother-Daughter relationship, the mom begins to listen to and seek advice from the daughter in regards to fashion.

Hannah, months old, is already giving me her opinion on my outfits. I'm not exactly a trendsetter. My closet is full of American Eagle, Joe Fresh, Jacob and RW & Co. classic, comfortable items in navy, hunter green, gray and black.

Therefore, (even months before she was born) Hannah has a much cuter, colourful wardrobe than I do.

My cousin came to visit us and today we went to Vaughan Mills. Eventually we found ourselves in Forever 21. Hannah was all about soaking in the different colours, prints and textures in the store. I was all about searching for a top to wear for portraits we are taking later this week.

I found two that I really liked and couldn't determine which one to choose. I held them up against me, one at a time, for Hannah to see. She clearly preferred one over the other (the "loser" didn't even get focused on, the winner got a huge two-tooth smile).

So already Hannah is affecting my fashion choices. Helping me choose bolder colours, and more interesting cuts. (Although, she once saw a women's Elmo shirt in Sears...she liked it so much, it now hangs in my closet...hopefully she'll stick to patterns and prints from now on...or I will just be stronger at not buying things that make her smile).

Do you ask your kids for their opinions on what you wear?

© 2012 YYZ Bambina. All Rights Reserved.

A New Best Friend

My new best friend can be kind of a jerk.

She is constantly the centre of attention, to the point where sometimes I feel I cease to exist.  

She likes to stare at people and eavesdrop on their conversations when we are out in public.

She's a backseat driver who complains when I have to stop at a red light.

She has constant mood swings and takes only milliseconds to go from happy to mad.

She thinks grunting is an acceptable form of communication.

She interrupts conversations. She interrupts movies. She interrupts TV. She even interrupts reading.

She likes to listen to the same song. Over, and over, and over again. And then one more time after that. Sometimes she demands I sing the song. Over, and over, and over again. And yes, even with my singing voice, one more time after that.

She kicks me. She bites my fingers. She pulls out my hair. She scratches my face.

She wakes me up at 5:30 in the morning because she's hungry. 

She has food fights with herself that sometimes ricochets on to me.

She loves to stick out her tongue and blow her spit on me.

She gets irritable when she's tired but refuses to sleep.

She pees in the midst of my changing her diaper. Frequently in public.


She smiles.

And that's when I remember why she's my new best friend. And that I will always do any and everything I can for her.

I love my daughter so much. I can't believe I once knew life without her.